ThePain andComfort ofa GentleHeartSecretsRevealed
by Shadows In Straight Jackets
Summary: Have you ever wondered why Sesshomaru is so cold, Rin has and now she is about to find out,   better summery found inside .


_Summery= _

_Sesshomaru has always been so cold towards everyone, and no one really knows why ,but it's getting worse ,now even Rin cant live in peace with him. She is determined to find out why. As sixteen year old Rin goes back in time she discovers hidden/unknown feelings and discoveries, and learns that even the coldest of hearts needs a gentle touch every once in a while._

_Declaimer -I do not own Inuyasha or any characters from Inuyasha._  
><em>I am always feeling that people misunderstand Sesshomaru's situation so I am going to try and make it a little more clear. On with the fanfic.<em>

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><p>" My lord?" I walked into the bedroom.<br>My lord was slouched over the bed gripping a piece of parchment in his hand .  
>I walked closer and saw it was a wedding invite, from his brother?"<p>

I knew Kagome and my lords sibling had planned on wedding ,but why did my lord seem so agitated.  
>"What is it Rin?" My lord snapped making me take a step back, he never snapped at me before.<br>Finding the courage I walked closer and put my hand on his arm.

He looked at me with his usual cold eye's.  
>I put my other hand on his and he let the invite drop to the floor.<br>He pulled me up onto the bed onto his lap and put his feet up so he was leaning against the pillows and bed post.  
>I looked behind my shoulder to see him deep in thought.<br>I tried looking harder, trying to uncover the secret in his eye's.

"Why is my lord sad?" I ask taking him out of his own world.  
>"Why would you even suggest such a thing ?" He growled.<br>I turned around, kneeling in his lap and touching his face lightly .

"Your eye's, they are sad," I tell him.  
>He is silent.<br>"Tell Rin why your sad."

"Did someone displease you?"  
>He sighed.<br>"Was it me?"  
>He grips my arms tightly, I shift in discomfort.<br>"Don't you dare ever suggest that Rin."  
>My lord then pulled me in and gripped me close.<br>Some would call this a hug ,others an embrace, but I knew better.  
>Even if I didn't know what this was.<p>

"M..My lord?" I stuttered.  
>Another sigh ,he let go and abruptly left, leaving me sitting on the bed, very confused.<p>

**The Next Day**

I sit in front of the mirror brushing my hair captured deep in thought. What is wrong with my lord?  
>"I can show you," a small voice said.<br>Jumping off my chair I yelled ,"Who's there?"

"Must be quiet or Sesshomaru will come looking," The voice said again.  
>"Where are you?" I ask more quietly.<br>"In the mirror."

I look and see a face I haven't seen in years.  
>A small girl with white hair and skin as pale as snow, holding a mirror.<br>Her light purple eye's seem to glow.

"My name is Kanna, you remember me but you do not know me by name, yours is Rin."  
>I nod and take a step closer.<br>"Do you want to know about your lord?"  
>I hesitate but still nod.<p>

Her hand slowly went through the mirror and held out for me.  
>I hesitantly put my hand in hers and give a yelp as I am yanked forward into the mirror. I am pulled through a current of purple and blue .<br>I look behind me to see my lord opening the door to my room.  
>I see the shock on his face as he realizes I am not there, he calls for Jaken to be told that they thought I was here.<p>

Suddenly the picture of them is gone and I am standing in Lord Sesshomaru's mothers castle.  
>Kanna is standing beside me and we are in a large room with a bed ,dresser, desk, full body mirror and two crossing swords on the walls .<br>"Kanna? Why are we here?" I ask.  
>"All will be revealed soon," She answers just as the door opens.<p>

I younger version of my lord walks in and he looks about seven.  
>He sits down on the bed and sighs as a woman with a sword and armor on walks in.<br>"Sesshomaru, you have training to do," She says.  
>"Just one brake Hisoka," Exhaustion clear in his voice.<br>"You can have a brake when you sleep for now you have to train."  
>"But-"<br>"No! Sesshomaru if you want to carry on your fathers place you must be prepared, now draw your sword!"

She charged at him with her sword and he struggled to get his.  
>The swords clanged for a while until Sesshomaru did one charge forward and almost knocked the sword right out of her hand.<br>"Try harder Sesshomaru! live up to your name and your fathers sword will be yours." With that she picked up her sword and they started again.

I looked at Kanna.  
>"Sesshomaru was pushed so hard as a child ,way past his limits .He was scolded for every mistake ,every little detail of him needed to be perfect ,and for every success he was told it wasn't good enough. Soon he kept everything in, never showing fear, weakness, he kept it all inside. That woman was the first person he ever killed, she will be killed in a year or two, that is when he finally gives up<p>

We are transported next to the same castle but this time it is the entrance.  
>Sesshomaru looks about eight, his father is standing with him at the bottom of the stairs.<br>"Why? Why are you leaving me here?" Sesshomaru asked angrily.  
>"That's enough Sesshomaru! You are to stay here and continue your training, we will meet again." With that his father left.<p>

The look on my lords face made me want to run up and hug him.  
>The distress in his eye's made me realize, he's not the man I thought he was, every feeling he has is locked up inside of him.<p>

We were pulled from the moment to his room.  
>My lord was sitting on his bed .<br>He had a dagger in his hand.  
>I was horrified when the tip of the black was dragged along his wrist markings .<br>Blood spilled from his wound that he inflicted on himself.

His teeth were clenched and a single tear slide down his cheek.  
>The wound healed quickly after till not even a scar was left, but he stayed still.<br>"This is a few moths after his father left for good." Kanna's voice brought me back from thought, I looked at her.  
>"Sesshomaru found out that his father left his mother and him for a human girl, that moment was when he started to hate humans."<p>

I looked back at my lord.  
>I had the urge to run up, tell him that things were going to get better.<br>But they didn't, he is still trapped inside a cage of silence.  
>No matter how much he wanted to scream, no matter how much pain he felt, he just kept it locked up adding to the bars of his cage.<p>

Kanna took me from there to see a younger Inuyasha about five years old.  
>I could see Sesshomaru standing behind a tree, watching the boy and his mother.<br>Inuyasha ran up to his mother." Mother ,what's a half-breed?" He asked.  
>His mother started to cry and she took him in her arms.<p>

"Inuyasha, you know your loved right?" He nodded.  
>"Good, your father loved you very much and so do I, never forget that what ever someone calls you, you are still you."<br>Sesshomaru frowned looking down and gripping his sword then left.

"Do you now understand Rin? Sesshomaru shows nothing because that is the only way he can't get hurt, he was second best to his brother even though he was the full bred demon and first born, he was never showed love so now he doesn't know how. He is jealous of his brother because Sesshomaru was promised so much yet he gained so little. He has a castle ,servants and is known to be the most powerful lord there is, yet he would trade places with his half brother in an instant, though he would deny it for his pride but deep down he knows it."  
>"He was...is all alone."<br>Kanna nodded then I was back in my room sitting on my chair.

I stood up so quickly my chair feel over.  
>I turned to the door but it was just opening.<br>My lord walked in and looked at me.

"I see your back," He stated.  
>I was silent and he stepped forward.<br>The tears hit my eye's and I jumped forward hugging him tightly.  
>"Rin?"<p>

"You were all alone, no one loved you. I love you Sesshomaru, I love you." I could feel him giving into my embrace ,yet he pulled away.  
>"Lord Sesshomaru, it is all right, no more pain."<br>I looked into his eye's they were still blank .

Sighing, "I'm sorry my lord ,I should not have-"  
>He leaned in quickly capturing my lips in a kiss.<br>I was surprised to say the least, but strangely happy.  
>Kissing back I felt his tongue touch my lips asking for entrance and I complied.<p>

After a moment he pulled away.  
>"Sesshomaru... only Sesshomaru."<br>He pulled me into his arms.  
>Some would call this a hug, others an embrace, but I knew better.<br>This was something much bigger then that.  
>This was our gentle touch.<p>

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><p><em>So how did you like my fanfic?<em>  
><em>I just wanted my viewers to see my side of how I look at Sesshomaru because I feel so bad for him, I mean he really ended up with only Rin in the end, even then there was only a few hints.<em>  
><em>Well anyways hope you liked it.<em>

_Please review._


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